Last night my friend and I went to Augusta House for 90s night. Oh the memories; a little bit of this and that, and of course this! We were there for a b-day celebration and, although the bar was slow to fill up, the night was nonstop dancing, only sitting out the crappy 90s dance music (it’s all about the 90s pop, baby). We were a little bummed that there was no N Sync or Britney to be heard; I mean, come on, …Baby One More Time was THE song of the 90s. Wasn’t it?
We had a (hilarious? sketchy? uncomfortable?) encounter with three men who gave the most lame, albeit interesting, pick-up attempt we’d ever experienced. So, we came up with a few guidelines for what not to do when trying to pick up a girl in a bar:<
1. If you’re going to lie and say you are European, be specific about which country; don’t just say “He’s British, and I’m from Europe.”
2. If you’re going to chat up a girl and get her number, don’t chat up numerous other girls directly after… right in front of her.
3. Don’t wear a leather jacket, a gold chain and sunglasses… at night… inside a hot, dark bar… when you are dancing by yourself.
4. If you are going to have a wingman, at least make sure he’s cool. Please. Maybe even cute. Girls don’t want to subject their friends to a lame conversation while they entertain only a decent flirtation.
5. Don’t lie and say your friends aren’t your friends so you can speak badly about them as you encourage the lady to join in. Especially if you are just going to tell your friend what she said.
6. Don’t ass grab. EVER. It will only result in public humiliation; in effect, salting your game.
7. Don’t try to tag-team the entire room. Women are perceptive, we will notice.
The moral of the story? Accidentally giving out a wrong number can sometimes be a blessing in disguise.