A Sign of the Times

February 28, 2009

I have lived in many cities throughout my life, so I have friends all over Canada, throughout the United States, and even in the UK now. I feel very fortunate to have been able to maintain these friendships despite time and distance, and I still feel awe over how they’ve only grown over the years.

I used to live in Rocklin California; back in the days of grades 1, 2 and 3, and thankfully I have been able to keep in contact with the great friends I made during that time. Even though we are all about 13 years older now, we have still managed to keep that connection and still relate to one another on many levels.

I had a chance to go back to Rocklin two summers ago for the first time since we moved. I always wanted to go back, and knew I had to live there again some day, so naturally I was stoked when my mom gifted me a trip to Cali in 2007 for my 21st birthday.

Most recently, I applied for a summer internship at the Sacramento Bee thinking that would finally be my chance to get my foot back in the California door. Unfortunately, after months of tortuous waiting, I heard back that the Bee doesn’t have the money to fund the internship this summer after all. I was bummed, I really counted on that as my big chance to go back. For good.


But I found something I wrote after my trip two summers ago:

“Flying home from California had me thinking about many things… Once I was back there it was very hard for me to leave again. Not many people understand this, but for personal reasons, that place has a very special place in my mind and in my heart and I keep feeling drawn to it.

I believe in destiny and fate, and I often wonder what my life would be like now if I had never left Rocklin when I was younger. I am not talking about regret or what ifs, those are a waste of energy, I am merely wondering what kind of a person would I be; would my values and interests be any different, would I be on a different path in life? I think the answer is no… no matter where I spend the former part of my life, I think I would still be the very same person I am today.

I believe that life is made up of a series of choices, but that no matter which way you choose you will always end up where you are destined to as the person you are destined to be. You just need to follow your heart. That’s something I forgot to do for a short while and I found myself feeling more lost than I had ever felt. Read the book “Girlfriend in A Coma” by Douglas Coupland and you will gain amazing perspective on life. I know I did when I really needed it the most.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I truly believe my dreams and ambitions will all work out eventually. I just need to have a little patience, for if I believe that what’s meant to be will be, then it will be, in it’s own time. You can’t rush life.

I am feeling a richness in my life at the moment. I have no regrets, no what ifs, in regards to the past and present. I often get so excited about things to come that I forget to take the time to enjoy the present, but I am looking forward to embracing what the future brings.”

So now, in the wake of my frustration over the realization that I will have to forgo California for Toronto for ANOTHER summer, I realize that the 23-year-old me could learn something from the 21-year-old me: be patient and trust that life will work out in its own time. Good things come to those who wait.

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