Somehow watching The OC always makes me feel better about life.
It reminds me of the things I don’t have and the life I don’t have. It makes me crave the ocean, the Pacific sunset, the beach, the sand, the suntan. It makes me wish I never left that place, it makes me wonder what life could have been like if we never did leave.
Yet somehow all of this wishful thinking makes me feel better. It gives me something to dream about and something to hope for and something to work towards. My heart so much belongs to the coast.
I miss my California friends so much and I always think they have it so much better than me because they get to dip their toes into that Pacific Ocean whenever they want and they don’t have to deal with the wintertime blues. But what is the reality if I ever do make it back there? That I will probably want to be somewhere else? I will miss home, I will miss my friends in Halifax and in Toronto and Ottawa. But something makes me think that seeing the sun set over the Pacific Ocean will make all of the missing seem insignificant.
Sandy Cohen is my idol. I see so much of myself in him. His ideals remind me so much of all that I stand for and all that I am passionate about. So even when I forget it in myself, I can watch Sandy and be reminded. Yes, I know he is a fictional character and you probably think I’m warped for respecting a fictional character so much. But, I mean, a real life version of him must exist somewhere right? In me perhaps? Minus the accomplished successful lawyer, has his life put together part. But someday that can be me. Why oh why did I not go to law school?! I will get back to where I am meant to be, eventually. I am just taking the scenic route. But sometimes the scenic route isn’t always the best route… I am not sure yet in my case.